Wedding Planning Vs Wedding Planning You

A wedding can be planned to the ends of the earth. I get it, I totally do! Planning often creates more certainty and in turn can reduce anxiety. When we immerse ourselves into the wedding planning we do so with a hope to increase our chances of happiness. We plan because we believe that lining all the ducks in a row will ensure the day will go swimmingly (pardon the pun).

Brides and grooms want everything to be perfect, but what is perfect? What warrants the ultimate wedding? What kind of wedding plans can ensure nothing will go wrong? Planning everything down to the millisecond? I’m not so sure!

Our Own Wedding Planning

Like I said, I understand why we plan. My wife Sarah and I did our own wedding planning. We chose the date, church, venue, decorations, cake, flowers, music, photographer and locations. And let’s not forget who we’d invite! That was a tonne of work in itself. Once we knew the basic flow of the day, we let everything else happen organically.

If we were 5 minutes ahead here or 10 minutes behind there it didn’t matter! We were together, our loved ones were sharing our joy, and we’d eventually tie the knot. As long as those things happened, no little delays were going to upset us! We never lost sight of why we were there.

Give the Day Room to Breathe

A wedding day sometimes just needs the opportunity to breathe. It needs time to unfold, for the magic to make itself known in all of its unforeseen wonders. When every movement follows a schedule to the millisecond, there’s no room for delay. That kind of strict planning can suck some of the joy out of the day.

I often see brides and grooms stressed over the tiniest things. They’re so consumed by the run sheet that they miss the magic happening around them. Just because the limo is 2 minutes late doesn’t mean that walking into the ceremony 120 seconds after the planned time will result in a bad marriage. Of course I invented that scenario because if I mentioned real scenarios I’ve photographed, I’d run the risk of singling past clients out. I don’t want to do that!

Can we plan that the weather will be perfect? No! Can we guarantee that strict planning will stop a pigeon pooping on our suit just before we walk into the church? No! Can we ensure that Uncle Chimney won’t disappear for a quick smoke after the ceremony and miss being part of the family photos? No!

When Wedding Planning Meets Real Life

Things happen! Sure, sometimes stuff goes wrong, but they also go incredibly right – things no one ever saw coming. That’s the good stuff!!!!

People who worry and stress throughout their wedding day can miss the very reason they planned it. The point is to have a wonderful day celebrating a love that can last a lifetime. It’s a day to share with people who care deeply about them and want to see them happy!

Trust me, things just seem to fall into place no matter what happens. Everything comes together somehow on the day because every wedding is beautiful – no matter what little surprises unfold or planned moments don’t unfold.

For me, creatively, it wouldn’t matter if the limo broke down outside a refuse tip. Even if posing on a pile of rubbish was our only option! Somehow I’d still find a way to make those wedding photos look unreal. Everyone would just need to remember that a wedding is about being together on such a happy day!!

Plan your wedding, yes, but don’t let the wedding plan you. Set up the timings and the run sheets. But falling off schedule on the day does NOT mean the wedding is doomed!

For more practical advice, see my five tips for reducing planning stress.

Tom Hall