Wedding Planning Vs Wedding Planning You

A wedding can be planned to the ends of the earth. I get it, I totally do! Planning often creates more certainty and in turn can reduce anxiety. When we immerse ourselves into the wedding planning we do so with a hope to increase our chances of happiness. We plan because we believe that lining all the ducks in a row will ensure the day will go swimmingly (pardon the pun).

Brides and Grooms want everything to be perfect, but what is perfect? What warrants the ultimate wedding? What kind of wedding plans can ensure nothing will go wrong? Planning everything down to the millisecond? I’m not so sure!

Like I said, I understand why we plan. My wife Sarah and I did our own wedding planning. We chose the date, the church, the wedding venue, the wedding decorations, the wedding cake, the flowers, the music, the photographer and the locations, and let’s not forget; whom we’d invite. That was a tonne of work in itself, but once that was all sorted and we knew the basic flow of the day, we let everything else happen organically.

If we were 5 minutes ahead here or 10 minutes behind there it didn’t matter! As long as we were both together, our loved ones were sharing our joy and we eventually tied the knot, no little delays were ever going to upset us! We never lost sight of why we were there.

A wedding day sometimes just needs the opportunity to breathe. It needs time to unfold, for the magic to make itself known in all of its unforeseen wonders. When every single movement is choreographed to the millisecond (with no room for delay) it’s not uncommon for that kind of strict schedule to suck some of the joy of out of the day.

I often see brides and grooms stressed over the tiniest things – consumed in following the run sheet while missing all the magic happening around them. Just because the limo is 2 minutes late doesn’t mean that walking into the ceremony 120 seconds after the planned time will result in a bad marriage. Of course I invented that scenario because if I mentioned real scenarios I’ve photographed, I’d run the risk of singling past clients out. I don’t want to do that!

Can we plan that the weather will be perfect? No! Can we guarantee that strict planning will stop a pigeon pooping on our suit just before we walk into the church? No! Can we ensure that Uncle Chimney won’t disappear for a quick smoke after the ceremony and miss being part of the family photos? No!

Things happen! Sure, sometimes stuff goes wrong, but they also go incredibly right – things no one ever saw coming. That’s the good stuff!!!!

The fact is that while people worry and stress during a wedding day, they are denying themselves the opportunity to enjoy the reason they chose to plan it in the first place – to have a wonderful day that celebrates a love that can last a lifetime – in the company of the people who care about them dearly and want to see them happy!

Trust me, things just seem to fall into place no matter what happens. Everything comes together somehow on the day because every wedding is beautiful – no matter what little surprises unfold or planned moments don’t unfold.

For me personally – creatively – it wouldn’t matter if the limo broke down outside a refuse tip and posing on a pile of rubbish was our only locational option. Somehow I’d still find a way to make those wedding photos look unreal, as long as everyone remembered that a wedding is all about being together on such a happy day!!

Plan your wedding, yes, but don’t let the wedding plan you. Set up the timings and the run sheets, but if you fall off schedule on the day it does NOT mean the wedding is doomed!

Tom Hall

Fins at the Plantation Wedding-98

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David Haworth
July 27, 2018
Completely sensible.. carpe diem