This Space is Mine
I enjoy the kind of career I never would’ve thought possible eleven years ago (even five for that matter). These days I have just about all I need (“just about” – I’ve still got plenty more career and life goals to achieve), and it blows me away considering who I used to be. Even though I still – and will always deal with really challenging obstacles (can’t avoid them), I feel like I’m discovering something that will help me climb out of life’s future holes just that little bit easier. It’s this knowledge that has me looking forward to the next day rather than really dreading it: This space is mine!
I was reclusive, shy and apprehensive when I was younger. Often when I would see opportunities unfolding I would feel undeserving (even fearful), and subconsciously do whatever I could to put hurdles in front of myself to justify why significant growth or success wasn’t an option. In hindsight I saw myself as an onlooker put here to witness the success of others, somehow believing it wasn’t an option for me personally (though I never could’ve admitted that to myself at the time). It seems I had convinced myself it was ok to vicariously live through others, enjoying their success by proxy.
However, over the years that hesitant, self-sabotaging hurdle builder has slowly discovered that as long as it doesn’t adversely affect others, the space where he stands is his. We are all (and not just some of us) able to decide at any time that we deserve more. Where in the past I would’ve avoided interaction fearing rejection, and postponed action fearing success, the years have brought with them the understanding that in a free country we’re all given the option to choose to shine at any time we please.
No matter what obstacles are in front of us (even our own), the choice to “be” and to do it in the best way we possibly can has ALWAYS been as simple as a choice! I could dwell on the fact I’ve wasted a whole chunk of my life not enjoying this truth, but I’d instead like to get on with experiencing the benefits these choices bring.
I have discovered that I have permission to do well, to contribute positively in which ever way I can and to be myself without feeling I need to apologise for filling the space where I stand. We ALL have that option to choose! It’s so comforting to realise that!
I have no doubt I’m experiencing an insight many, many people have already, but for me this realisation is fairly new and that’s why it’s so exciting for me to share it with the world. Owning my space is the most liberating permission I’ve ever granted myself!
So where to from here? Who knows? I take each day as it comes! I do know though that whatever opportunities arise I am aloud to accept them and enjoy the fruits they bring.
This space is mine!